My kids will do anything for a bead. Well, almost anything anyway! But this tiny little object has been my greatest parenting idea since I first became a mom in 2008.
I was trying to teach my two preschool-aged (at the time) children about immediate obedience or following instructions right away. I thought we needed some type of a reward system that was fun and visual for them.
I had some little beads I had bought at the Dollar Tree for a preschool activity I did with my son when we did some homeschooling while I was pregnant with my daughter. We weren’t really using them at the time for anything, so I found a small plastic glass I had bought for taking liquid supplements once and a shot glass my husband and I had used for the Lemon-Lime Ice Cream Soda Shots we shared some time ago on our food blog.
I filled the shot glass with the beads to see how many it would take and then poured them into the larger cup. I did not want anything much larger than the shot glass as I knew they would lose interest if it took too long to fill up.
[photo credit – Anne Newsome, all rights reserved]
I told the kids that every time they did what they were asked immediately, they would earn a bead. When the glass was full, we would do something fun together as a family.
You would have thought they’d won the lottery every time they earned a bead. They thought it was the coolest thing since sliced bread! It took them about two weeks to fill up the glass and we dumped the beads back into the cup and started over.
Later I decided to expand the ways they could earn beads since it was so effective. Capitalize on what works, right?
Now they are a little bit older (6 and 2) and they each have their own glass. They usually stay pretty close to each other in the amount of beads they’re earning, so we wait until both glasses are full for the reward. If one finishes before the other, they can work together to finish filling up the second glass.
But they now earn beads for:
- Cleaning up their toys when asked (1 bead each per room they clean, 3 each if they work together as opposed to picking up their own toys). With this one, I often have to set a timer to keep them motivated and remind them how much time they have left. If they get it completed before the timer goes off, they get their bead.
- Taking their dirty dishes to the sink after finishing a meal.
- Taking dirty clothes to the laundry basket when getting dressed for the day or for bed.
- Staying in their beds after bed time each night.
They also will often initiate helping us with something, like putting groceries away or helping empty the dishwasher and then ask if they can have a bead for helping. Sometimes I will allow it and sometimes I tell them, “Not this time. We need to sometimes do things just to help out!” I believe that is a valuable lesson they need to learn.
I have thought about getting some inexpensive things and making a “prize bag” for them to choose something from, which would sometimes include an “I.O.U.” or coupon or something for a specific fun activity to do together as a family. So there are many ways this can be adapted or used differently if you have other ideas of ways to get creative with it that you think would work well in your home (with younger children – I have no idea at what age it would lose appeal!).
About the Author
Anne Newsome is a Wife, Mommy to a 6-year-old son and 3-year-old daughter and an Author. She and her husband, John, a Chef trained by the prestigious Johnson and Wales University Culinary Arts program, have co-authored What to Cook for Dinner for Picky Eaters to share recipes, tips and resources they have found most helpful in addressing the picky eater phases of childhood. You can visit their website, Flayve.com, for more about handling picky eaters and for additional ideas for good recipes to try with your family.
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