As I picked up the phone Tuesday afternoon, I heard the sweetest sound ever: the voice of my 6 year old Sabrina! She was safe and sound in the loving care of my parents, 6,000 miles away.
A mere 18 hours earlier, I held back tears as I placed her in the care of a flight attendant and sent her off on her first trans-Altlantic flight as an unaccompanied minor. As she crossed security, she turned around beaming and waved goodbye. She was so proud, so confident!
My heart ached as I let her go but I was filled with such intense love and pride! Though I longed to be making the journey with her, I knew how important it was for her to be going on her own. This was her first big adventure , one she had been looking forward to for weeks. It was her turn to be a big girl!
I had prepared her for this moment as best I could, talking about what would happen on the plane, that she would eat dinner and go to sleep. I reassured her that the flight attendant would be there whenever she needed her. We made sure she had plenty of things to keep her busy — her Leapfrog, a drawing pad, coloring books and a giant box of crayons, a few of her favorite books, her little ponies and, of course, a stuffed animal to cuddle up with when she fell asleep. We also talked about the fact that she would not see me for 5 weeks, but we would Skype as often as she needed to. She was ready, and eager.
Now I placed her in the capable hands of the flight attendant and prayed that God would keep her safe on her journey.
“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you’ve imagined.” ~ Henry David Thoreau
As you may have read in “The Gift of Independence” I’m no stranger to “Goodbyes”. Since my oldest daughter Alexandra was five years old, it has become our family tradition to send our girls to France every summer to spend precious time with my parents.
With the older two girls I would travel to France with them, spend a few weeks reconnecting with my parents and soaking up everything that is magical about being home. Then I’d leave one or both of them to savor their time with their grandparents.
I’ve always felt it is important for my daughters to forge a close relationship with my parents independent of me. By stepping out of the way, I give them space to explore and discover who they are as individuals. And I allow my parents to get to know the girls on a much deeper level. They share moments they would never know with me in the way.
I also communicate to my daughters that I trust them explicitly.
I trust them to behave in a way that will make me proud.
I trust them to make wise decisions.
I trust that they will be fine without me.
The older two did not travel on their own until they were eleven. But I do not take my parent’s health for granted. I have been blessed with the most extraordinary parents, and I am grateful that they are so invested in my girls. They cherish their time together and look forward to it as much as the girls do. Sabrina is my baby and we all felt it was important for her to have some one-on-one time with my parents. Time to bond, to laugh, to cry…
These five weeks with my parents will be a little piece of Heaven for my little Sabrina. She will come home a much wiser and mature young lady and with a treasure in her heart that no distance can tarnish.
Letting go of my girls is one of the hardest things to do. They are my everything. They are the reason I get up with a smile every morning and set out to be the very best that I can be. And though I’ve said many goodbyes they never get easier.
But I know that in setting them free I forge an even closer bond between us. And I let them know in the most profound way how deeply I love and respect them.
In what special ways do you let your children spread their wings and know the depth of your love for them?
Wow, I don’t think I could let my child be an unaccompanied minor on a trans-Atlantic flight. My unaccompanied minor experience was only hopping between Indiana and Ohio. My son hasn’t been on any flight yet.
Cassi, I’m not sure the distance matters as much as the fact that we let them go, and trust that they will be fine. Sure a trans-Atlantic flight is a very long flight, but our children are so well cared for that the time flies by nicely. I think that because I made those flights as a child and they always brought me such intense joy, I’m able to let my daughter go with a lot more ease.
You have to be proud of your little girl and what a wonderful gift for your parents. With that said I would find it hard to send my child on a plane by herself. I really don’t think my children would have want to gone anywhere without my husband and myself. She will have a wonderful learning experience.
Thank you Arlene. I am extremely proud of my little one. When mom called to let me know she had arrived safely she shared that the entire flight crew as well as several passengers told her what a delight she had been on the plane, and how well behaved she was. It brought tears to my eyes to hear that. Yes I am a very proud Mamma 🙂 Sabrina was eager to go because she has seen her older sisters go by themselves before and she really wanted to feel like a big girl.
Wow, that’s a big moment. I put my 15 year old son on a plane to Europe for the first time this year and felt proud of myself for not crying. 🙂 Good for you for letting your girls have their adventures and having a taste of indepence.
I can’t say I didn’t cry, even though I was so proud of Sabrina. She exuded confidence as she left… It was one of those bittersweet moments: so proud of how grown up she is, yet sad that she is so grown up as she is my baby and I feel like time is passing by so quickly! Congratulations Debra on letting your son go… I do think that is the greatest challenge for us moms 🙂
Wow, you are such a wonderful mother to instill this wonderful time in your children. Having a meaning relationship with their grandparents is something they will always treasure. The will also always remember that their mom helped forge this relationship. 🙂
Thank you Susan! Grandparents are such extraordinary people! I love that my girls get to spend some quality time that is all their own with my parents. They impart wisdom that I can’t… I love to see my parents with my girls too, they are always beaming.. I know it’s hard for them that my siblings and I all live in the US so this time with their grand-kids makes it just a little easier. I’m grateful to have a beautiful relationship with my daughters… which I learned from my mom and dad 🙂
Oooh! The look of pride and happiness on her beautiful little face! What an unselfish thing for you to do. The youngest of 3 is probably much more confident to do this than a first child would be. I thought that was a very large suitcase for her to be pulling but then realized that she’s tiny and it probably is too. What a great mom you are!
Thank you Beth for those kind words! That is a big suitcase isn’t it? And it’s her carry on! I suggested a smaller one which was pink and a little more age-appropriate but she insisted on using the one that matched her suitcase and that her oldest sister had taken with her to Italy earlier this year… Yes the baby of three has matures rather quickly… and she wanted so much to go on her own to be like her big sisters 🙂 It was hard to let her go until I saw how much she beamed! And she is doing amazing with my parents! I’m so proud of her!
What a beautiful story. I remember the first time I put my son on a plane. And there is nothing better than a relationship with their grandparents. Just wait until they go away to college. The same feeling arises, a catch in your throat.
What’s been so beautiful for me is watching my father with my girls. When I was little, he worked all the time, so we did not spend as much “play time” together as I would have liked. He’s making up for lost time with my girls, and through those relationships, he and I have gotten even closer. There is nothing like the bond that exists between a child and her grandparents. It is truly a blessing! AS for college, that’s a short two years away for my eldest and much too soon for me! I know that will be a challenging time… but for now, I relish the time we have together and admire the beautiful young lady she already is 🙂
What a lovely story. Grandparents can mean so much to a child with memories she will never forget. I admire you for understanding that and making time for your children to have these cherished experiences with their grandparents.
Thank you Jeannette! I wish my parents were closer so we could spend more time with them.. and I am so grateful that they love to have the girls. I cherished my time with my grandparents when I was a child. Bu giving my girls the freedom to develop their own relationship with my parents, without me being there, I know they are building a treasure chest of memories that will stay with them forever. It’s the quality of the time they spend together that matters, right?